Plastic Fruit
As I have related before the relationship of Shutterwi and myself. The following is yet again some of our antics!
A few years ago, I decided I needed a picnic table. On to the internet I went and found free plans for one I liked. Now you have to understand that when Shutter and I build something it will be sturdy. You know the type, if plans call for 2x4's we use 2x6! Well, I constructed this table Tim The Tool Man would be proud of. Indeed, made of 2x6, hole in the middle for an umbrella that would not tip over with tornadic winds, and supposed to be easy to store.
Well one day as I was mowing I came to the table, the directions said it would stand on its own, so reason told me that would be best on its side, so I was tipping it on its side, made sense to me, now given that it was more than a little on the heavy side, it got over the center of gravity. Now, falling on the top wouldn't have hurt the table, but I didn't want to let go of it, why one can only guess. Well the weight of it going over flipped me over the table, in a total summersault, I hit the ground on the other side of it with enough momentum to to come standing upright again.
As I stood there wondering what the hell happened, I thought I better scan the neighborhood to see if anyone noticed this event. As sure as the sun rises, there was Shutter in his driveway, doubled over in laughter. I put my hands in my pockets and shuffled over to him, stood there kicking an imaginary rock with my foot while he caught his breath. After several minutes he was able to ask "what was that?". I proceeded to tell him that it was supposed to be able to stand on end. He informed me that the end I tried was the wrong end. I said yes, that thought crossed my mind in mid flight, along with a considerable amount of air between my ears!
That same year, and for a couple more he and I planted several fruit trees in our yards. Every spring I would pace like an expectant father watching for the fruits of our labor so to speak. One year the apple tree looked like it would produce, only to sprout little apples the dry and drop off. Well, one week it looked like a few might grow, so I watched and watched. I pulled in the yard one day and noticed a couple walnut sized apples hanging in the tree. I yelled to the wife who I could see in the open kitchen window, "honey we got apples I yelled", I could hear the patter of little feet coming out the door as I approached the tree. Just about the same time I noticed that the apples had monofilament line holding them to the tree! Ahhhh, plastic too!
I had to chuckle after being had like that. Wasn't long after that, I was in the yard when over the shade fence of Shutter's patio I hear, "grapes getting ripe". Shutter knows I have a weakness for grapes, his grapes, so I scamper to the the vine, sure enough I see a few ripe ones. As I picked a few and popped them in my mouth, I notice a nice bunch, perfect thought I! Just before my fingers reached the grapes I thought, something not right here. Sure enough, they were rubbery! "How are they" I hear as he chuckled, "a little rubbery this year" says I, having been had yet again!!!!!
A few years ago, I decided I needed a picnic table. On to the internet I went and found free plans for one I liked. Now you have to understand that when Shutter and I build something it will be sturdy. You know the type, if plans call for 2x4's we use 2x6! Well, I constructed this table Tim The Tool Man would be proud of. Indeed, made of 2x6, hole in the middle for an umbrella that would not tip over with tornadic winds, and supposed to be easy to store.
Well one day as I was mowing I came to the table, the directions said it would stand on its own, so reason told me that would be best on its side, so I was tipping it on its side, made sense to me, now given that it was more than a little on the heavy side, it got over the center of gravity. Now, falling on the top wouldn't have hurt the table, but I didn't want to let go of it, why one can only guess. Well the weight of it going over flipped me over the table, in a total summersault, I hit the ground on the other side of it with enough momentum to to come standing upright again.
As I stood there wondering what the hell happened, I thought I better scan the neighborhood to see if anyone noticed this event. As sure as the sun rises, there was Shutter in his driveway, doubled over in laughter. I put my hands in my pockets and shuffled over to him, stood there kicking an imaginary rock with my foot while he caught his breath. After several minutes he was able to ask "what was that?". I proceeded to tell him that it was supposed to be able to stand on end. He informed me that the end I tried was the wrong end. I said yes, that thought crossed my mind in mid flight, along with a considerable amount of air between my ears!
That same year, and for a couple more he and I planted several fruit trees in our yards. Every spring I would pace like an expectant father watching for the fruits of our labor so to speak. One year the apple tree looked like it would produce, only to sprout little apples the dry and drop off. Well, one week it looked like a few might grow, so I watched and watched. I pulled in the yard one day and noticed a couple walnut sized apples hanging in the tree. I yelled to the wife who I could see in the open kitchen window, "honey we got apples I yelled", I could hear the patter of little feet coming out the door as I approached the tree. Just about the same time I noticed that the apples had monofilament line holding them to the tree! Ahhhh, plastic too!
I had to chuckle after being had like that. Wasn't long after that, I was in the yard when over the shade fence of Shutter's patio I hear, "grapes getting ripe". Shutter knows I have a weakness for grapes, his grapes, so I scamper to the the vine, sure enough I see a few ripe ones. As I picked a few and popped them in my mouth, I notice a nice bunch, perfect thought I! Just before my fingers reached the grapes I thought, something not right here. Sure enough, they were rubbery! "How are they" I hear as he chuckled, "a little rubbery this year" says I, having been had yet again!!!!!
posted by Reflections at 8:41 AM
2 Comments:
I'm known as the fruit vendor in the neighborhood.
Well at least the plastic recycler in the neighborhood.
A new bed of "strawberries" going in this year please stop by and sample some of the fruit. ;)
That picnic table thing sounds funny as hell. I would pay to see a video of the act. LOL I mean if it was half as funny as the description you gave it would be worth big bucks.
Note to you, check all food you eat as long as shutter lives next door. (wink wink)
Good thing you guys don't drink.
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